I just discovered this month about this Japanese term 物の哀れ (mono no aware). Wikipedia says that it literally means “a pathos of things” or “a sensitivity of ephemera” and is a part of Japanese culture; it is associated with the cherry blossoms and their transient nature.
From time to time I get depressed when I think of “what used to be”, as in, those things I used to do or enjoy when I was young. I get this feeling a lot whenever I finished watching a series or I just finished a game. The sense of culmination of the stories, or the journey I seem to have shared with the characters within the series or games often leave me in a somber mood. I would wander if I would still reminisce of these stories or characters after some years have passed like I did with previous stories and characters. I feel uneasy whenever I question myself and my memory’s capacity to remember all things I enjoy or find significant. I wonder what my fixation on the idea of “what used to be” is. I notice too that I am particularly moved by stories where the characters long for their past. Cowboy Bebop has a lot of its major characters run into their past memories. Spike’s and Faye’s association with their past are the most interesting and moving moments of the series. The soundtrack accompanying those past memories provide even further surge of emotions and association with the past. Whenever I hear Green Bird, Goodnight Julia, or Kawaisouna Fei among others, I instantly feel sad yet happy. Sad because it is something only of the past (for me and for the characters); happy because they have been also part of my memory that I am fond of reminiscing about.
Recently, I just finished the 2004 NHK taiga series 新選組 (Shinsengumi), and it reminded me of the anime series Rurouni Kenshin and Saitou Hajime. 斎藤 一 (Saitou Hajime) was my favorite character from Rurouni Kenshin but when I was in elementary grade three or four, I did not know that he was based on a real historical Saitou Hajime who was also in a real historical group called the Shinsengumi. There are Taiwanese manga of Rurouni Kenshin at home, and it was explained in the author’s commentary page that Saitou Hajime was a historical person, but I can only understand really basic Mandarin that I did not understand much of what was written in the manga; I merely study the figures and drawings in every pages. Anyway, I recently read the English translation of Rurouni Kenshin (only the parts with Saitou) to revisit my memories, and as I read and read, I have begun to like Saitou Hajime a lot more than I used to when I was a kid in elementary. I used to like him simply because he’s strong (well third or fourth strongest alive person at the end of the series more or less) and he cannot be characterized as “good” or “evil”; I like the neutrality even when I was a kid. However, now not only do I like him because he’s semi-evil/good, but also because he’s arrogant and sarcastic while being able to act and look cool and superior all the time. Hmm, I like to find out if there are real life people who can be sarcastic and arrogant while being “cool” and tolerable to others at the same time (if there is, I would like to copy and learn from him/her hehe).
Going back to the topic of “what used to be”, I searched youtube for Rurouni Kenshin anime scores. I always find that I can strongly associate music and songs with my particular personal emotions, and memories. I was actually looking for two particular themes, one which is often played during sad scenes (“Departure”); the other whenever Sanosuke Sagara thinks about his past mentor/master during his time with the Sekihoutai (“Minagoroshi No Elegy”). The two scores were my favorite when I was a kid, they still are. Later, I listened to one of the Rurouni Kenshin albums and I’m surprised to have forgotten about two songs that I have been really fond of during those grade school days when I often listened to the album as I (was forced to, but appreciates it now) practice Chinese calligraphy; those two songs are そのまま (As It Was) and 夏の絵 (Picture of Summer) summer version. I am beginning to like the Japanese phrase そのまま. It is supposed to mean “as it was”; I like the feeling I get when I remember that I like something when I was a child, and still remain to like it; I often move on from one interest to another, but preoccupying myself with another interest does not mean that I don’t like the preceding interest. There are times though that I may completely forget about something that I liked in the past, but that is probably okay since the feeling of revisiting a lost love is magnified when I stopped thinking over it for some time. However, I would remember again how it used to be during the times when I first enjoyed the stories and characters, along with it the memories of grade school, and how much they are “what used to be”. When I think about my grade school days, it is funny how I was able to watch tons and tons of anime when classes are from Monday to Friday from 0730 until 1600 compared to the Monday to Thursday approximately 6 hours a day class schedule of undergraduate days. Well no matter, I probably won’t be able to spend as much time watching anime series as much as my grade school days as I get older and face more responsibilities. I wonder if there are people who “stay as kids” forever? The more I think about my conquests of anime series and my grade school days of free time, the more I think that childhood is the peak of my life, however meaningless the activities I did seem to be (of course I cannot say for sure since I still have years ahead of me). I think that from age 0 to 16, one spends their time for themselves, from age 17 to 20+ one would start thinking about living for others, from age 20+ to 60+ one would probably have to live for others, from age 60+ and above, it’s whatever your imagination says. Well, I hope to experience more stories and ideas as I go on with life, I’ll simply make do with whatever “free time” I have for myself so I’ll continue to have more things to reminisce about.
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| image from www.the-oro.com |
Apparently, 物の哀れis often incorporated and evoked in several manga and anime as well as in Japanese films and series. The transience of everything in life, there is something about this idea that is so poignant that it ironically makes a lot of things in life beautiful..
